I am Fine, but Not fine!
A blogger friend gave me her old iphone 7 plus to use as a camera, not as a phone.
Trying to get it set up and working kicked my butt.
The Problem is this. I have 16 posts in drafts, I created them a few a day while doing clean up.
My Mind is in Frenetic Mode, as in PTSD of a sort.
I can't think straight, I am in a fog, and this morning Bob asked me if there was anything he could do or NOT do that would help.
think EXTREME PMS woman... like that.
I am a mess, my mind I mean.
I just got two texts, 2 emails asking if I am ok.
I totally forgot to do emails,
Did not make coffee last night
The beat goes on
I think it could be caused by lack or order and ROUTINE.
I am OCD on Routine. I can't seem to get the old one back or create a new one.
Simple things like for 33 years in this house, and we had never used the front door key.
Now we come and go that way and that is a tiny thing to most people, but I hate it.
I hate the cars not in the garage.
The trash in the yard
The city is coming Thursday to run a sump pump for 12 hours in the back yard pumping the sewers,
the house next doors have workers.
I need TIME... I don't know how much.
I am not depressed; I am just MIND BLOWN.
it's my personality
I did get the iPhone to take pictures and I LOVE IT.. soon I will be blasting the E-waves with them.
See you soon...
27 comments:
One has to have OCD traits to be a dedicated blogger. Routines keep most of us sane. Glad that you are doing ok
I had to look up frenetic...I need to come up with a word for me. But I swear I thought I would fix supper and look and see what you posted...and I forgot till just now. My mind is shot, too, but in a different way.
As someone whose emotional equilibrium depends on routine, I think I can relate. (On a smaller scale, that is.) You're a survivor, and sometimes survivors develop PTSD.
I do love that Bob asked if there's anything he can do.
Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.
Hari OM
The medic in me warns against using PTSD as a 'fall to' description of a post-event lethargy and/or shock. The label actually requires significant evidence and diagnosis. (I have worked with several ex-military and emergency workers with it, and it is no small thing.)
This is not to belittle the fact that you are most likely in some form of shock, not to mention exhaustion. Be kinder and more patient with yourself because it is also a fact the older we get, the slower recovery from such events can be on the mental and emotional level. Meanwhile, applying oneself to creative pursuits is definitely therapy!!! YAM xx
You have had a shocking event to live through, and are still living through because of this horrendous cleanup. Can’t tell you how much I wish I could help you through it. Your brain is in overdrive(?) and that is exhausting. You need a few days off or at least a slow down. Please take very good care of yourself, your immune system is trying to kick you in the butt. Sending a big hug!
I am SO sorry! Things WILL get back to normal, you are going through a very rough spell. No wonder your mind is shot, anyone's would be if they had to go thry what you did, at your age!! At our age it takes longer to adjust to changes for sure. Hey, I thought your garage was fixed? So why no car in it?
We can sympathize with that. We get discombobulated if some of our routines get disrupted, and I'm talking about minor things, nothing like what you're going through. I hope things settle down for you soon. ❤️
hugs to you... sometimes the world becomes a wave and like a tired swimmer the wave will collapse over our head and all what we hear&see is grmmmpfffwahahagrrr.... till the moment we put our head out of the deep water and do the first breathe... we hope that moment comes very very soon to you...
Sorry to hear everything is still in a muddle for you. I know what you mean in having a routine. I love my iPhone 12 pro. Hope normality returns soon.
I used to be very attached to my routine. Any little variation would throw me for a loop. I can understand how these things would get you.
The phone is a good thing to keep your mind distracted. Hang in there. Better days are ahead.
Hello,
The Iphone does take great photos, it is nice to have something new but something creative that you like doing. I try to keep a routine too, it helps with my memory. Making sure all gets done. Try not to be so hard on yourself, slow down and take some breaks. Whenever you feel bad, give Beau a big hug. Take care, hang in there.
Sandra, you and Bob are survivors. You made it through the hurricane and its aftermath, not easily for sure. It’s no surprise that your body and brain are in overload mode. Please take all the time you need to rest up and restore. Your fellow bloggers understand and will be offering support♥️. The iPhone gift was very nice and sure you will enjoy it more in time. And, I know what you mean about the front door as we never used ours when we lived in VA and now we only have 1 door😉
I must say, your blog title is misleading! NO!! you're NOT okay!!
Your life has been turned upside down
All I can say is hang in there.
So, you DIDN'T make coffee the night before. No big deal. Look around. You have Bob and Beau, a house still standing, food, water. Life has changed yes...but, you have so much to be thankful for. Time will heal. And that is what you need...time to heal.
MS,
Not only do you have all the disruption of your daily life and routine you are dealing with looking at it everyday. Gosh you never use your front door and we never enter thru our garage. LOL 12 hours of a constant noise on Thursday.
Sending hugs that once the sump pump ordeal is over and the yard debris removed you will start to feel somewhat normal again.
Cecilia
I am so sorry Sandra - for all people in the aftermath. I have to imagine that a person who likes and needs routines (and I am that way too) have to be really stressed from something like this. Be gentle on yourself and breathe deep. Your life has been blown up and it will take time and patience - but it will come back together.
I feel more comfortable with routine. You've had a shockingly tough time and then the clear up has been hard on you physically. Praying for healing of body and mind for all of you caught in the devastating experience. I hope you get some rest and you'll feel better soon.
I can understand that. I have totally lost my once usual routine and will not get that back but have push on. Buddy still needs some fun. I miss you and pray you will get back in your groove. Stay well for that is tops.
Each of your loving friends on this blog had wonderful things to say and encourage you.
They have said what I would say too..We care!
I think we all need a routine of sorts, whatever our stress level.
Trauma can beat us down like nothing else can do.
I am keeping you, Bob and Beau in my prayers. Give Beau an extra hug..it's good for your in-sides.
Love
Sue
Sending you, Bob and Beau much love and MANY hugs ~
Be gentle with yourselves; don't sweat the small stuff (like morning coffee). This too shall pass!
Also sending hugs...try to take one day at a time, as hard as that may be.
Aaawww we visited a light scuplture last night and I thought of you. My photos zare rubbish and i reckoned you would be able to do 'a job'on them - use them for something much more creative. Sit down and immerse yourself in some pic monkeying for a set time each day. Think of it as a restorative meditation. Definitiely not ok, but clearly working on it. Lots of love from F and Mr T
I know you are okay and you will be okay but I also know that what you are going through, besides going through the pandemic is now dealing with all that happened with Ian. It's all too much!!! I'm glad that Bob is asking what he can do for you. I'm glad the camera is working out well for you. I was very surprised to see the matches!!! I am definitely praying for you. ((Hugs))
Sandra, I think it's all been said, we care about you and wish you well, and your old self again, but you must be easy on yourself. You are lucky to still have Bob, who is worried about you, or he would not show concern. Slow down, try to get plenty of sleep because you must me mentally and physically exhausted. It takes us oldies longer to adjust to change, so be gentle with yourself, routine will return when all the debris has been removed and your garden looks pristine again.
Sending you warm hugs.
I believe you need to take smaller steps - even have a shorter day - get more sleep...
so sorry to hear that, Sandra. try not to be so hard on yourself. sending lots of love and big hugs to you, Bob and Beau. please take good care of yourself! (((Hugs))
Change is hard and you have had so much thrown at you recently. You can't absorb it all at one time. You will find your new normal....it WILL happen!
You will always be remembered for your kindness. Every neighborhood needs an avocado angel :) What a lot of hard work you've had to deal with, must be overwhelming at times but you seem to be coming through with flying colors, applauding here and I hope you'll be able to sit down and relax real soon.
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