Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Tuesday Comedy clubM

 


M.A.D.snapper

A man and his girlfriend check into a hotel. “I don’t know why, but I’m afraid that this room might be bugged with hearing devices.” the girlfriend tells her boyfriend. 
"I read online that some hotels do that!" “That’s crazy, there’s nothing to be worried about.” the man replies. The girl insists, so he starts to search the room.
 He looks in all of the drawers, under the TV, and behind the curtains. When he pulls the rug up, to his utter disbelief, he finds a suspicious looking disc. “Wow, you might be right!” the man says as he unscrews the disc from the floor.
 The next morning, they head to the front desk to check out of their room. “You guys must’ve had a good time last night!” the clerk says laughing.
 Angry and confused, the man asks “AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?!” 

The clerk replies “Well, on the floor below you, the entire chandelier came down.”

https://www.ba-bamail.com/jokes/stupidity-jokes/?jokeid=1101


Monday, July 26, 2021

My Daily Exercises for YOU

 
Exercise? I thought you said Xtra Fries!
Don't Run with bagpipes, you could put an Aye out, or worse yet, get Kilt!


 do what you hate to do, but do it like you love it!




I wanted you to see just how cute I look while doing my daily exercises. 

Below are the Scans of exercises I do 5 days a week in the pool, and sometimes at the counter.

They work if you work them, I have been doing these since Nov 2015, they were given to me by a physical therapist, and keep my arthritis at bay, help my knees, and hips and back.
I have osteoarthritis in all those spots. If I miss more than 2 days, the pain comes back.

Less pain is a great motivator. 15 Minutes a day, 5 days a week.








Saturday, July 24, 2021

For Ginny on Caturday Art

 


Creations by ME for Ginny, who first said she saw a jelly fish in my fireworks pic.
What is in the middle of a jelly fish?
a jelly button, silly!

Did you know that jelly fish eat and poop out of the same hole? It's True...


What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.

I saw a singing octopus once, in the choral reef.

Friday, July 23, 2021

Fear No Weevil

 Day 1. Bob, there are 4 little black bugs on the counter. he did not answer, I did not repeat.
Day 2. Bob, there are little black bugs on the counter by the toaster oven. he did not answer, I did not repeat.
Day 3. BOB THERE ARE BUGS ON THE COUNTERS. I JUST KILLED 7 of THEM! He heard me, so did the neighbors.
He said, What kind of bugs?
I said You know, the mealybugs or flour bugs.
His reply, I have no idea what you are talking about
OF COURSE he didn't, when has he ever cleaned out cabinets?
I say, You know, the little black things that just appear out of no where inside flour, meal, or cereal boxes.
He says Nothing! 
I say, Did you HEAR ME?
Yes, I heard you, what do you want me to do.



With steam coming out of my ears,
I checked flour, meal, cereal, crackers and dog food. NOTHING!

I attacked the dog food storage cabinet first. Removed enough stuff to fill half the trash/rubbish bin.
See I know some of you call it the rubbish.
I tossed things that expired all the way back to 2011, none of which had bugs, they were  rusted metal pan, 4 ancient dog bowls, and a few things that were last touched in 2006.
I did THREE cabinets, remove/toss/clean/replace.
Nary a weevil to be found.
I made three trips to the recycle and the trash cans, filling each of them half way.
The Last thing I put in the garbage was the box of milk bones, that came with Beau 9 months go and we never used them because he was overweight and I put them away and forgot them.
As i went to toss the box of bones I decided to dump the bones out by the moss rose tree stump for squirrels and any other rodents that might like bones.
As I dumped them, guess what was in the box?
WEEVILS! to me they are mealybugs. What do you call them?

The good news is, I got THREE HOURS of exercise and sweated off at least 100 calories and three cabinets have now been Summer Cleaned and all expired foods are gone

A funny thing happend on the way to clean cabinets, I sat down in the rocker and asked my phone 
What are other names of Weevils
An hour later, after reading it all and laughing madly, here I am telling you the story.

A few questions here that i found people had asked and the answers. for more fun google search is waiting.

What are the bugs in my flour?
they are weevils, they look like rice, but the move around. this means your flour is infested.

Is it safe to eat the bugs in my flour?
The eggs are inside and they hatch, they are common in flour, wheat, rice. They are safe to eat, but not in excess, if you can see them in the cooked food, they are o to eat but not pleasant if you have guests.

How do the bugs get in sealed packages?
Weevils are voracious, they leave the package they came in and chew their way through cardboard to get to the food, PASTA inside the box. they like seal seams and stitching holes, easy to chew threw.
(remember they are edible) 

Why do weevils get in flour?
If the female weevil chooses to lay eggs in the flour in a packaging area, she does so because when they hatch they need food, and will gorge on the flour until they can run ad play in the flour.

How can we prevent this from happening?
When you bring your flour home, place the bag in the freezer for 48 hours. the eggs will never hatch after freezing, which means they will not eat the flour and run and play.

Will all of this information stop me from eating BREAD? 
Nope! I am not dead yet after 76 years of eating bread and who knows how may weevils I have consumed and did not know it.
Remember this...

 See no Weevil, Hear no Weevil, Eat a Weevil
Now sing with me 
Weevil 
Weevil
 Rock You