Monday, November 25, 2013

EEK! Geek Position Open...



Above is photo of the dashboard in my Kia Sorrento. When I sat in the drivers seat, I decided I needed a pilot to fly the thing home. Lucky thing it was still daylight and I needed no headlights or dome lights before I had time to read "QUICK GUIDE" that you see below....


First page, line one says Your Vehicle At A Glance!


HA! is what I said when I turned the pages. QUICK you say? I need a person who speaks reads GEEK,

Headlights...Check! 7 Interior Lights..Check ! OOPS! not a light, that one tilts the sunroof, now how the heck do I un- tilt it, OOPS, that one made the roof slide.
I open the door to go in the house and get the OTHER book, since this one is no help...
No, wait, why is the over the rear hatch light  still on when I shut the door...OOPS! seems it is on a 60 second delay and I kept opening the door and starting another 60 seconds... do you realize how long 60 seconds is?


I grab the BIG Book, YEP! it is written in Geek Speak also.  I take the book, the keys and get back in the drivers seat determined to figure out how to use the Radio, the AC... just 2 things before night fall.. HA!

There is no radio in the index, no stereo, no sound system... AHA! they hid it under Audio..

I started the car and it was taking so long to figure out the AUDIO system, I had to turn it off or suffer Carbon monoxide poisoning since I was in the garage.

I Open the window. YES... one thing I can do. and say to Bob... Will it hurt the battery if I just work on this with the key on but not running?
He says! that depends on how many hours you are going to be in there....

See below Collage, this book is so hard to read they have 2 pages under How To Use This Manual... see first top square. I am not lying.

there is a section on how to use the gear shift.... kid you not. See the bottom right square? I had to print the radio stations because we had 12 of them programmed in the other car and neither of us could remember the numbers. DON"T FRET.. they are all programed. FM1 is ME all talk shows.. FM2 is all country music and one rock..


See this book with all the yellow squares? well the book has warnings, cautions and notices all through the book 
To Be Continued...








22 comments:

Ann said...

Lucky for me, the dealer I go to takes you out to the car and shows you how to work everything before you leave the lot. I don't remember it all but at least I get the important parts.
I've had my car for quite a while and I still pull out that stupid book written in geek to try and figure stuff out.
I can't believe they have 2 whole pages on how to use the manual....lol

Cranberry Morning said...

ACK! I hate those books. And so many of them now have pictures, rather than language. But you're right, the Quick User Guide never ever is!

Good luck.

TexWisGirl said...

i'm laughing. this should keep you occupied for a while. :)

From the Kitchen said...

Our son used my husband's new Volvo this past weekend. He called from the road and said he just voice activated his phone--no hands, etc.. How? "I used the Bluetooth." What? The Volvo has Bluetooth?
I'm sure he rolled his eyes as he hung up! Andrew does read manuals. I don't. My 2003 Honda manual looks brand new!! Don't get me started about the first time I accidentally opened the sunroof in a raging storm and couldn't figure out how I did it.

Best,
Bonnie

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Nothing like learning all the bells and whistles on a car! Good luck....

Ginny said...

Hilarious!!! I especially love your third diagram picture. I can't wait till your next part! When my son got their new KIA, it took awhile for them to learn it. Good thing you are a computer expert. But I am sorry. You are so smart about this stuff that you will get it in a jif, you already are.

Ginny said...

I just read this out loud to Phil and we both laughed again!!!

Deb said...

I don't know who sets up these manuals...but they must be from another planet...I tend to do better with trial and error...with hopefully not too many errors..

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

Having upgraded my vehicle this past year,I understand. I spent the better part of one day,sitting in the car with the instruction manuals,trying to figure everything out. When all else failed I called my son,to whom all this is a breeze.

Andrew Fulton said...

It's wonderful to have a new toy to play with... enjoy learning how to use it safely.

Andrew Fulton said...

PS... they have put the steering wheel on the wrong side lol

EG CameraGirl said...

I have to admit that I'm not fond of learning the ns and ots of a new car...or new computer...or new anything. But it will be so worth it once you figure everything out. ;)

Betty Manousos said...

like cranberry morning i too hate those books.
but i'm glad you enjoy learning how to use your car safely.
gosh, there are lots of things i have yet to learn about mine!

SquirrelQueen said...

There is definitely a learning curve with all the newer vehicles. Back when I was working I used to rent a lot of cars. After checking in and getting the keys I would sit in the car and figure out where the important stuff was before leaving the lot. One year I rented a Prius, it was just after they came out. I actually had to have the rental person show me how to work that one.

Catherine said...

Gaaak! Hate instruction books! LOL!
xo Catherine

SweetMarie said...

instructions for the gear shirt?? too funny!

jackie collins said...

I'm laughing.... sorry, but I just think its funny. I too have been there, and still am, 6 months later and I am still trying to use those buttons and gadgets...

diane b said...

Hee hee at least it will give you something to do for the next year. Do what men do and just press buttons and see what happens. New cars are nice though but your steering wheel is on the wrong side.

Chatty Crone said...

That will keep you busy and off the streets for awhile.

Rose said...

Oh, my, this is what I have missed...sitting here with tears in my eyes. A comedian needs to get hold of this and use it in their routine.

magscorner said...

That is a big book...no way I could remember all of that. I do better with hands-on. Glad my car don't have all those buttons and stuff I would be lost. Hugs

Laura Delegal - Leroy Photography said...

Fun! A new toy!