Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Platycerium Hissie


Our 100 pound Pltycerium AKA stag-horn fern (some call it elk-horn) fell to the ground with the limb it was hanging on. The plant was fine, but it caused me to stage a major hissy fit. See below definition of Hissy


In the interest of keeping this post to a minimm, I will state the Major Happenings... you fill in the rest of the story.

Think.... 77 year old husband.....extension ladder, (yes, the one with the passion plant on it) forget that part..

Now Think....ladder on limb....fat old me holding it.... hubbies feet on the rung HIGHER than my head...

Next think.... 25 pound come-along




 ...Hubby yells hand it UP to me, (HOW if I am holding the ladder). I let go the ladder....mightily lift it up while waiting for the ladder to crash.


He comes down the ladder, and says "I will lift the plant chain to you and you hook it in the com-a-long. Be ready, I can only hold it for a second....Well, of course he can't, it weighs 100 pounds and is as big as VW bug and by now I am in a hissy of a fear fit and hyperventilating.

the plant is hooked, the man goes back up the ladder to ratchet the thing up where it goes, it feels  like 4 hours until it is there since my hands and arms are throbbing from clutching the ladder so tight.

Guess what happened next.... The Come-along was Stuck, it would not UN ratchet, it would not let go of the chain, it would not come down and THE MAN was now on the rung 2 feet above my head stabbing the wires with  a LONG SHARP SCREW DRIVER... another 4 hours passed, stag-horn was HUNG and I was nearly passed out from adrenaline from the hissy fit.


LET ME MENTION HERE.... the neighbors KITTEN decides to come and wind around my feet, leap up and tap the plant fronds, try to climb the ladder, chase a lizard and now i have to worry if it will run 3 feet into traffic...OR the 100 pound plant will crush it and it will not be all the way dead... see where my mind was going?  Did I mention the scenario where the ladder falls with the plant and the man on me, we are both laying on the side of the street waiting for a passing car to call 911?

IF YOU ARE NOT WORN OUT from reading and want to see other post on STAGHORN click here



28 comments:

DawnTreader said...

Gosh, you almost have me in a hissy fit with you! I'd have left it on the ground ... maybe just taken a "baby" from it to put back up ;)

Blackberry Lane said...

You two sound like us. We had a similar situation trying to hang our ginormous wind chimes!

Madi and Mom said...

MOL MOL MOL NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE PLANT BUT AS SOUTHERN GIRLIES WE HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO HAVE A HISSY FIT OR TWO. MOL
HUGS MADI AND MOM

GOOSE said...

If I would have been there I could have kept the kitty away. Of course I would have wanted to climb the ladder. That is what I do when my MOM goes up a ladder. Yep I climb it. I mean I want to see what is so cool up on the roof. This has a time or two left MOM stranded on the roof as no one was there to hold the ladder for me and it has fallen.
Blessings,
Goose

From the Kitchen said...

I would be willing to pay a videographer to capture the adventures of you and Bob! Just let know know when you plan the next "event" and give me your address.

Best,
Bonnie

Catherine said...

Oh my stars ~ you two! Be careful! LOL!
xo Catherine

EG CameraGirl said...

Major extreme adventure so close to home! Glad you and Bob are still here to talk about it. ;)

Mersad said...

It all sounds very unfortunate (with a bit of slapstick comedy thrown into it :D )

Mersad
Mersad Donko Photography

Susannah said...

Scared me! But sounds like all is well! I am sure it was worth it! That staghorn is a beauty! Glad everything turned out okay and you and hubby are still here to talk about it!

Linda said...

Hope your resting from the ordeal. I can relate! However, two are better than one and that's why Derby and Joan keep an eye on one another in this household!

TexWisGirl said...

oh, yes. my mind would have gone the same route. :) glad you all survived.

Tammy@Simple Southern Happiness said...

This post was not good to read as I already have a hard time breathing... by the time I got to the end, I was pooped just like you were and trying to catch my breath... WOW, that plant is lucky to have you guys take such good care of it and risk your lives to rehang it.

was in hospital since last Wed, have pericarditis, you can see why this should have not been my first blog post of yours to read... breathe.. ouch!
You guys were brave.

Ginny said...

Oh my gosh, this is unbelievable!! I know they are big and very expensive, but I think I would have left it there 0r drug it into the woods. I am SORRY, but by the time I got to the kitten I was hysterical!!! WAIT, how on earth can a kitten come in with Jake and Baby around? This would make another whole post I think...you probably shut them inside so they wouldn't run around you and the ladder. O.K. shut THEM up, then along comes a kitten! I bet your muscles and arms will be so sore the next morning. Did this ever happen before? Maybe a big squirrel pushed it off, how do you figure? squirrel

Chatty Crone said...

All I can say is are you sure that you were not helping my husband - this sounds exactly like him! lol

SweetMarie said...

I would have been having similar thoughts. Glad everything worked out. :)

photowannabe said...

Sandra, Sandra, Sandra....

How do you do it???

I found myself holding my breath reading this adventure.

I must say that was amazing teamwork, with a little help from the kitten.

Thanks for being patient with my reposting.
It made me so crazy last night that I just had to leave the mess and hope for the best today.
Didn't enjoy rewriting the same post 3 times though. (:0)

What Karen Sees said...

I am so glad you lived to tell the tale! Very funny story, although I'm sure not so funny at the time!

Ann said...

I'm thinking that you would be very entertaining to live next door to :)

Dee said...

LOL..glad you survived...

Deb said...

oh my...sounds like the things that happens around here...

SquirrelQueen said...

Oh my gosh, let me catch my breath. Okay, I'm good. No wait, still laughing. Between your post and Goose's comment my sides are hurting.

Yep, this southern girl knows all about hissy fits. You two are very brave, maybe a bit crazy, to have tackled this project.

Kittens always know when to cause the most distraction at the right time.

Rose said...

Oh, this is funny...bet it wasn't for you. I can just imagine the cat winding around your feet...

Betsy Adams said...

Oh My---I'm exhausted since I had to work hard to help you all --as I read this post... I need a drink!!!!! I'm worn out.. What a huge job. Pant Pant....

You are a good ladder holder. Do you get paid for that????? I have to do that when hubby climbs WAY high--cutting tree limbs, etc... Scary!!!!!

Think I just had a hissy fit also!!!!! Whew.
Hugs,
Betsy

George said...

Life is never dull around your house, is it? I hope everyone is alright.

diane b said...

Man on ladder is a worry. A health worker from one of our emergency depts says no one over 55 should go up a ladder due to impaired balance. I know...someones got to do it. Mine is up there painting while I stand under hoping he doesn't fall on me. I can totally understand hissy fit. Hope you had a valium afterwards or a glass of red.

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

I am trusting that this story has a 'happily ever after' ending.

LC said...

In the midst of my laughter (Sorry, I just couldn't help it as the mental video unfolded), a fact jumped out and clobbered me between the eyes: Did I really read 77 as your hubby's age? Nah. Couldn't be.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Oh my, glad no one was hurt. That is one of the most beautiful Staghorns I have ever seen.