Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
How do Mexican sheep say Merry Christmas? "Fleece Navidad."
How does Mickey Mouse get around during the winter? Mice skates.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missile-Toe.