Sunday, August 2, 2020

Sunday Selfies Practice Run




Practice Run 

The past few days have been like a practice run of life lived alone.
I lie in bed, alone, the room feels bigger.
 my other half is down the hall, on the sofa!
my body feels like the king sized  bed is the size of a basket ball court.
Looking around the room, it appears so much larger.
Empty!
I can leave the TV on as long as I want to.
I turn it off.
And ponder my Practice Run.
I list all the things he does and I do..
This is how it would feel, if I had to do it All.
Which is what I have been doing for just a few days.
house work and yard work are divided
I nearly expired doing the Saturday am cleaning, mopping, vacumning.
Dragging giant garbage bins to the curb,
REMEMERING what day to do that drag to the curb.
At least he is HERE and I can run down the hall to show him Kat walking on a leash in a video.
Or tell him the latest nutty thing on FaceBook..
Walking Big Boy alone, no one to talk to, no one to fight off wild critters if we run into one.

I find myself in bed praying for his health, and for the strength to be kind and caring and not get upset when I am tired and he is aggravating my last nerve.
and 
I remember this scripture and ask for strength to remember it each day.. to use it to ward off the aggravation of having a hubby who is upset because he is out of commission.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.





20 comments:

Ginny Hartzler said...

BEAUTIFUL AND FRIGHTENING.

Ginny Hartzler said...

P.S. I was so wrapped up in your story that I forgot to say...my favorites are the top two.

CheerfulMonk said...

It is scary. I'm not yet having to do what Andy does around here, but he's 85 and I'm 80, so we're well aware that one of us could easily be left with a big hole in their life. We don't worry about it, but we do appreciate what we have while we still have it.

Anni said...

It has crossed my mind too. The what ifs. It's a natural emotion, and yet scary at the same time. He WILL SURVIVE. YOU will be okay...find strength in all you do.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
A good reminder that teamwork makes a difference. YAM xx

eileeninmd said...

Hello,

I like your selfies, great collage. Scary thoughts, think positive. Keep the team going..Two are better than one. Enjoy your day, have a great new week!

Unknown said...

You are so brave to take selfies! I have yet to learn that. As for your scripture, a beautiful reminder of just what/who we have in our lives along with how he/she would take care of us. Just remember, we are never “alone”. You and Bob have that special someone within your hearts...:)JP

Gayle said...

I tend to think and imagine like that when the RG is away overnight. Guess what tune just popped into my head? When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin along. Praying BOB will be up and bobbin along soon. (you're one day closer each day).

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

You are strong, confident, capable and smart, Sandra. Life is harder now while Bob recuperates and sharing your burdens here hopefully makes them lighter.

Pam said...

Never to make fun on your post cause these are serious thoughts....but I have been keeping warm for years with the aid of animals! :) Just keep in mind that Bob is down the hall...think no further then that! He did well with surgery and he is healing and before long he will be keeping you warm again. Hang in there and think of today and not what it would be like.....as for the comment on the furs blog, yes cats know when to stop eating. And Dakota did to a point, but only long enough for the food to settle in about an hour and off he went with it again, if he could. Pigs are what are really funny, they will eat and eat...and eat, shall I go on? AND EAT, till they actually kill over dead. That is why in the barn it was really important to not leave the barn doors open where they could get to the feed barrels. If they could turn them over they would start and never stop. However, feeding them watermelon rind and pumpkin was the best. It was so funny watching them dive into that stuff. Best way in the world to get rid of my rind! I have not done it much this yr but since they are only a hop skip and a jump away from me now I can gather up my rind and take it right to them. Just been easier to toss in the trash.....however I am thinking on making a compost barrel here at the house, that sort of stuff can go in there. Have a great day and think....TODAY, Bob is healing, he is fine, I am not alone....

My Mind's Eye said...

Sandra what an inspirational post for all. I was agreeing with every single line...except we don't have king size bed. Only a queen would fit in master. My goodness you get 1,000,000 A+ for this. Bless your heart and your sweet soul. I love the Bible Verse. My nephew, Kat will be happy to learn that he has provide lots of entertainment
Hugs and thank you
Cecilia

Mevely317 said...

Wow -- once again, your thoughts echo what I've 'practiced' in my head time and again. Not so much anymore; after all, I've had almost 3 years to become accustomed. What helped, I think was me relocating to the guest room -- smaller bed, surrounded by what used to be my own bedroom furniture.
Yep, praying for strength to ward off my own aggravation ... that's hard!

LOVE these selfies so much. You're like a little elf in the woodlands -- or, perhaps part of Robin Hood's band? My fav is the bottom left.

Ruth Hiebert said...

I am glad that for you this is just temporary. I pray that better days are ahead.

Chatty Crone said...

How very honest. I need to do that sometime. I am glad it is temporary and I love the verse.

Cynthia said...

You have written about this ordeal so candidly and so honestly, and I thank you for it. A great example to follow: having the courage to let all the emotions bubble up and not trying to suppress them.

photowannabe said...


Oh my dear friend,praying for you as you go through this time.
Your transparency is so refreshing.
I'm glad Bob is still down the hall and Tuesday is closer.
I have to admit I have been thinking the same kind of thoughts since Covid.
The What If's loom large at times, especially in the dead of night.
We do celebrate that Dave has surpassed both of his parents in age and health. So thankful that we have been able to get through the very rough patches and move on every day.
May I have more empathy for those who have lost their partner in Life.
Great post today and I love your selfies, especially peaking through the leaves.
Sue

Rose said...

I cannudentify with so much if this, in different ways as you well know! Those are such appropriate wirds.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

That's a great verse. I know my mind never stops and I hear where you are coming from. This is when you take a step back and be thankful to God for His protection over both of you. I know I don't want to do it alone, even on the bad days. I pray God watches over both of you and keeps you safe for many, many years to come. ((HUGS))

Ann Thompson said...

This is so well written. I used to do the practice runs in my head. Turns out it isn't what I imagined it would be like. There are times when I wish I could go back and be a little more understanding and a little less annoyed when he was being difficult.
Hang in there. Wishing Bob a speedy recovery

Linda said...

I love that scripture! So true! Our time may come when we are alone...but I don't think either one of us will have regrets....we treasure every day...and all that comes with it. Good, bad, beautiful and indifferent. Memories to cherish and keep in our hearts. Love you both and I trust God for you two to have 'normal' days ahead. The blessings of a normal day....