Orange Thing, I think I love you

I fired the lawn man, the last two times he came, he did not do what I asked him to. We have very little grass in our back yard. It looks like this.

Two small patched of grass that I water for Beau to Eat when he is sick

 

weeds and sand

half the yard looks like this, it was full of tall weeds and nettles and I asked him to cut the weeds. He did not. I asked him to mulch the leaves. He did not. The first time I also asked him to NOT cut Beaus Grass. HE did...

I texted him and said we no longer need your services, I am going to

DO IT MYSELF

One week later Amazon brought to our door a huge box with these in it.

Two battery charger, 2 batteries and a 19 inch, no gas, no oil, super lightweight Orange LawnMaster Mower. I ask him to sit in in the living room and he did and then there was a bad time between the Mr and Mrs trying to tell each other how and what to do. Skip that part, its together and working

 and Now I am singing 

Orange thing, you make my heart sing

You make mowing grass groovy, orange thing

Orange thing, I think I love you

But I wanna know for sure

Come on and let me hold you tight

I love you

 Orange thing, you make my heart sing

You may remember my recent purchase of a rechargeable leaf blower and I named it Precious.  When Orange Thing came along, I decided to name them the blower Yellow Thing, and the mower Orange Thing because Bob can't remember the names I gave them and each time I have to describe what they are. You know, the yellow thing that blows leaves off the deck. I have shortened the names so that when I say I am going out to mow grass, with the Orange Thing I bought.

I mowed the grass, I did not cut Beaus Grass, I mulched the leaves, both the ones I raked up and the ones that were scattered on the little green grass we have, and I raked the leaves out of said grass and deposited them in the proper blue thing which was taken to the curb. Each time I cut I consider the money I would have paid him as coming off the price of the mower. 

It will only take 6 times to  pay for it and then its free to me.

 Did you notice its called LAWNMASTER??   Orange Thing is a LAWNMISTRESS Now. 

define mistress, a woman of authority, in charge of the household. And, The House yard.