While on FaceTime with my brother and his wife, he showed me his birthday gift from his 17 year old granddaughter. A toy that says Stop It.
He sent me to YouTube to find Bob Newhart's, STOP IT! I am smiling as I just type the words. I suggest you watch this video. I have watched it 3 times.
I wrote the words STOP IT in red and placed it on my fridge, since it is the most opened door in the house, ha ha and all my meals are eaten at the breakfast bar and it's IN MY FACE.
STOP IT! has become my anthem/chant, my shout is heard silently in my head, spoken entirely to myself.. It works.
There are things a caregiver should not do, when dealing with dementia.
Don't reason.
Don't argue.
Don't confront.
Don't remind them they forget.
Don't question recent memory.
Don't take it personally.
All of these is the norm for the two of us. We have each done these things on a daily basis, we are two peas in a pod.
To break the habit, when I start to do one of these, I shout in my head.
STOP IT!
I still forget once in a while, but there is much more peace in the house since Stop It moved to the fridge.
When Bob asked me what it was there, what it meant, I watched the video with him, and said its there to remind me to not fight with you, to not argue, to not yell, to not get angry. He said, Good idea.
This works for any problem you might have. I am keeping this brief because I want you to Stop and watch Stop It! Don't leave without watching it.
PS I keep saying to my MIND Racing, STOP IT! nope, did not work
Bob Newhart - STOP IT! The best two word coaching you'll ever get ...
watch on YouTube or below, its six minutes that has changed my life. truly
I am a big fan of Bob Newhart. His wit was always so dry and I would continuously laugh out loud. I remember his phone calls to people, one as if he was talking to Sir Walter Raleigh about tobacco was always my favorite. And now two little words have a lot of power and such great advice.
I’ll watch the video later, but it’s certainly good advice. One of Miriam’s sisters has reached the stage where she is losing short term memory, and she will tell the same story, word for word, three times in an hour. We just smile and make like we never heard it before. I hope you are both reciprocally patient with each other.
It breaks my heart that you're having to deal with this. Every day. How stressful! "Stop It" is good advice. My step-Mom Myra had ALZ. She would actually become violent if she felt confronted. I learned to not engage with her too much. That disease is scary too. Blessings. 💓
Thank you, Sandra, and especially Bob Newhart for sharing what can be 2 of the best pieces of advice for everyone. I would also add patience as another good word.
OMG, that video has me laughing so hard. Stop it is good avice. It sounds easy but the reminder is a good one. I'm glad that Bob thought it was a good idea too. Years ago, at work, I did something similar but with different words. It was to remind myself not to let a certain employee get to me. Looking at it always made me smile because only I knew what it really meant.
My husband and I are both 'fixers' and it's so hard not to constantly make helpful suggestions...no matter our state of mind. I need to take this to heart! Thanks for sharing and I hope you feel better in the days to come! Hugs!
I was never a big fan of Newhart, but the older I get the more that's changed. Unfortunately, I see myself disobeying every one of these "don'ts", especially the #'s 4 and 6. Thank you so much for sharing this clip. Cross fingers, Tom will agree to watch.
Both our mom's had dementia. We found it best to just go along with them when they talked as if they were young adults in the prime of their lives. We called it their happy place. Hugs Cecilia and I hope you are feeling better at least I know you are better than you were.
I've practiced some version of this since I was in my early thirties and saw a great psychologist. And I have lived a very happy life, no matter what happened on the outside, so to speak, after I learned to stop thinking in circles inside my brain. It will be 10 years since Errol died and I am amazed at how well I have done. Just because I learned how to say Stop It. It does not mean I didn't grieve, still grieve, it just means I can put it in its place and continue my life. Happily.
Great advice no matter what stage of life we are in. This will be a life changer. I'm glad you have this on your fridge.. I have to say this in my head a lot of the time so it doesn't come out of my mouth. Sometimes the mind is like its in a blender.. Stop It !!!!! Sue
LOL..... Funny one! I watched it twice. These are two very important words "STOP IT" that could be used for so many things in life. I totally understand where you are coming from. My dad had dementia and there were so many time that I wanted to tell him to stop it, but instead, I had to tell myself to stop it...stop getting frustrated when I have to repeat things over and over, Stop trying to explain something when it was clear he was not going to understand. Prayers for you as you experience things things each day.
IT
25 comments:
Great video, great advice. 😊
I am a big fan of Bob Newhart. His wit was always so dry and I would continuously laugh out loud. I remember his phone calls to people, one as if he was talking to Sir Walter Raleigh about tobacco was always my favorite. And now two little words have a lot of power and such great advice.
We both watched all of it. Never saw it before, and so funny! But I would look at your note, and never remember what it is I should stop!
I always loved Bob Newhart - so dry and deadpan, so thank you for this clip/
Hari Om
LOL... YAM xx
Good morning,
The video was so funny, the words Stop It are great advice to ourselves. Thanks for sharing! Take care, have a great day!
I’ll watch the video later, but it’s certainly good advice. One of Miriam’s sisters has reached the stage where she is losing short term memory, and she will tell the same story, word for word, three times in an hour. We just smile and make like we never heard it before. I hope you are both reciprocally patient with each other.
It breaks my heart that you're having to deal with this. Every day. How stressful! "Stop It" is good advice. My step-Mom Myra had ALZ. She would actually become violent if she felt confronted. I learned to not engage with her too much. That disease is scary too.
Blessings. 💓
Thank you, Sandra, and especially Bob Newhart for sharing what can be 2 of the best pieces of advice for everyone. I would also add patience as another good word.
OMG, that video has me laughing so hard.
Stop it is good avice. It sounds easy but the reminder is a good one. I'm glad that Bob thought it was a good idea too.
Years ago, at work, I did something similar but with different words. It was to remind myself not to let a certain employee get to me. Looking at it always made me smile because only I knew what it really meant.
I never saw that clip before and I loved it. It's funny but really good advice too!
My husband and I are both 'fixers' and it's so hard not to constantly make helpful suggestions...no matter our state of mind. I need to take this to heart! Thanks for sharing and I hope you feel better in the days to come! Hugs!
I was never a big fan of Newhart, but the older I get the more that's changed. Unfortunately, I see myself disobeying every one of these "don'ts", especially the #'s 4 and 6. Thank you so much for sharing this clip. Cross fingers, Tom will agree to watch.
I took your advice and stopped and watched it... ;-) Not always easy to practice but certainly relevant to dementia situations.
Both our mom's had dementia. We found it best to just go along with them when they talked as if they were young adults in the prime of their lives. We called it their happy place.
Hugs Cecilia and I hope you are feeling better at least I know you are better than you were.
I've practiced some version of this since I was in my early thirties and saw a great psychologist. And I have lived a very happy life, no matter what happened on the outside, so to speak, after I learned to stop thinking in circles inside my brain. It will be 10 years since Errol died and I am amazed at how well I have done. Just because I learned how to say Stop It. It does not mean I didn't grieve, still grieve, it just means I can put it in its place and continue my life. Happily.
I havenn't had to deal with dementia, and it must be so very difficult, but Stop It should help a lot.
And isn't it amazing how things can fall into place when the right words appear?
Best advice ever!!!
I watched the video. great one, great advice! 🩷🩷🩷
Ok, the anonymous above is me, I’m sorry Betty Manousos
What a fun clip and great advice. I'll try to do take that advice when I try to correct my husband, too.
Great advice no matter what stage of life we are in. This will be a life changer. I'm glad you have this on your fridge..
I have to say this in my head a lot of the time so it doesn't come out of my mouth. Sometimes the mind is like its in a blender.. Stop It !!!!!
Sue
LOL..... Funny one! I watched it twice. These are two very important words "STOP IT" that could be used for so many things in life. I totally understand where you are coming from. My dad had dementia and there were so many time that I wanted to tell him to stop it, but instead, I had to tell myself to stop it...stop getting frustrated when I have to repeat things over and over, Stop trying to explain something when it was clear he was not going to understand. Prayers for you as you experience things things each day.
I loved the video. Thank you for sharing. It's not easy to do but I am certainly going to try. I have several things I need to stop doing,
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