How would I feel, is suddenly I woke up and could not walk, could not stand at all without a walker? I wrote these words to start a post Nov 18, 2025,
And Never touched it until a month later Dec 13th, 2025 , I added this list of thoughts.
Bob stopped walking in March of 2025. I made A list of what I would not be able to do, if suddenly I could not walk.
The list came to mind because I prayed ever day over and over for God to help me SEE Bob, to understand what was happening to him was worse than what I was living each day. I was angry, hurt, stressed and feeling hopeless it would ever get better.
If I could not Walk, I would have to ask for any and all things.
I'm thirsty, would you bring me water?
I am hungry, could you bring me a snack? or fix my breakfast
Please bring me a cup of coffee. Could I have a 2nd cup?
Now I need to potty, please help me out of bed and on the bedside commode.
I dropped the remote and can't reach it,
Would you bring me my laptop?
I need my iPad, I want to draw.
Please put the wheel chair by the bed so I can get in it and go pay bills on the desktop
I need to wash my hair, and shower, will you help me?
I need a lozenge my throat is sore and dry
I spilled my soda on my shirt, will you bring me a dry shirt?
I am to hot, would you turn on the AC, open the windows?
I am cold, would you turn on the heat? close the windows?
The above sat in my draft for another 3 months and on Friday 2/28/2026 I wrote these words, after reading a page in my book
I learned this verse as a very young child, Matthew 7:12: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
I must do to others what I want them to do to me!
I.Need.To.Do.The.Right.Thing.
if I could not walk, How Would I feel and act?
And now, this week I am going to finish this post, that has been in drafts for 6 months and 3 tries to finish it, in drafts since Nov. 18, 2025.
I prayed for months, daily, many times daily for God to help me See Bob through Gods eyes.
This is what happened. I was in the kitchen fixing lunch and I saw this
Looking at him asleep and vulnerable like this, I SAW Bob, really saw how he feels and SEEING Bob and how he felt, tears running down my face, I grabbed the cell phone and this photo and reading the book, stopped my crying, Stopped my anger and stopped the feelings of thinking I wanted to bolt from the house and never return.
When I changed, Bob and Beau also changed, the less anger I felt, the better they both did. The rage at life of caring for my spouse, like he was a child, was less every day. I also took advice of blog friends and finally listened to my Doctor and took a Lexapro and that has allowed me to live a good life, to live with life as is,
while Doing.The.Right.Thing. Is life perfect? No, but it is a lot better and I have changed causing the two in my life to change with me. Yes, I still get angry and sometimes MEAN, but it is not normal any more.
I Do The Right Thing.. I have accepted life as it is. You can stop here if you made it this far. The story is finally told. I am posting the page which slapped me upside the head months ago. I scanned it with my phone, it might not be clear.
short version of page is this. If you want to make the world a better place, especially you own home life, practice the golden rule. TREAT Other People the way YOU want to be treated, no matter how they threat YOU.
Be kind to others, especially the ones that are not kind to you. It is easy to be kind to nice people, not so easy when they are not. this takes practice.
It has changed my life to a better home life as caregiver. This also will work for those that are being cared for.
Joining Yam for FFF, Final Friday Feature..
38 comments:
You are an amazing person Sandra, and please don't brush that off, you are an amazing person! I'm bookmarking this post so that I can see truly what are the important things in life.
This is such a well written post. It shows the struggle you went through and overcame. Im so happy that it has made life easier for you. As odd as it sounds we do need the struggles in life to help us better appreciate the good times
It's not what life throws at you, but how you deal with it. You've figured this out. Many don't. You're an amazing person and caregiver. Bless you. Bob and Beau are thankful too.
Have a fabulous day and weekend. Scritches to Beau and prayers all around. ♥
Those are very heavy questions for you to think about. You do so much for Bob and I'm so thankful that you can. (I haven't started that book yet. I should because of the issues that I'm having) That's a wonderful verse. I like that when you changed, they changed too. You have brought tears to my eyes. Mark doesn't understand where I'm at. I need his help in the house and they are things that he has always done but doesn't want to do anymore.
Sandra, this is a convicting and touching post. I thank you for your honesty and for sharing this. I'm going to be saving it, because it's something we all need to hear.
I am bawling now my friend Sandra.
What beautiful answers to your prayers.
Powerful Stuff !!!
So much more I can say but I won't here ...
God is Good
You are Loved
Sue
Thank you. Praying for you. Trust in God.
God bless.
You made the journey and arrived at a really good destination. Big hugs from all of us.
I think most of us knew this comment, yet you have made it very REAL. This post is so powerful!!! and I am so happy for you. God is with you every step of the way.
Hello, Sandra
This is a great post, so many emotions. You are a strong person and capable of doing it all. You are amazing. My hubby has sight and hearing problems and memory problems. But, he can walk so that is a good thing. I am his eyes and ears and hopefully as we are caregivers we stay healthy too. Hugs and prayers! Take care, have a great weekend.
Oh wow, I needed to read this. Only a few hours ago I was in Publix with Tom and his little scooter ... gritting my teeth because he was dropping stuff and getting in the way of other shoppers.
Boy, perspective is everything.
I'd like to see this posted in every rehab facility across our great land. Thank you for writing it!
Bless you all. Please do your best to take care of yourself too. It's so hard. ❤️
Hari OM
So sorry I am late to this prayer party! What a wonderful, warming, welcome post. I love that you found a corner to turn and did so, unafraid. Blessing and Love to you, and Bob, and Beau... YAM xx
I'm so glad that you've found peace and understanding for your situation. What you've been doing for the past year plus is one of the hardest things to endure. You are such a strong person even if you don't think so.
Sandra...you are such a blessing to me and your words touch deeply today. There are so many things that we take for granted each and every day. I am keeping you in my prayers...And praying for Bob each day as well... hugs.
Oh God bless you, Sandra. What a breakthrough you have had. I can't image all that you are going through but your words spoke volumes on what it's like as a caregiver and gives another side - a tender one, treating Bob exactly the way you would want to be treated. I'm so thankful you shared with us.
This is my first visit and I am glad I am here. I will visit often. This particular blog you have written reminds me of the care giving I had to give to my oldest son after he came here to be with me and Katie (my cat) for years until he passed. I wish I had thought of the thing you wrote about. Thank you for reminding me as the time may come again. Our perhaps it will be ME as you wrote of re: yourself. I had nothing but love driving me through all I had to do, despite certain things in my own life that made it hard..because he was my beloved son...even if I had a difficult time with certain duties.
I told you that you were an angel with wings holding him up. This is one of the most beautiful and heartfelt posts I have read. You have a wonderful heart. You let God work with it and mold it and turn it the right direction. You had to let HIM work on your heart and be willing to let HIM change it. Beautiful.
Thank you for sharing! It is hard being vulnerable, but there is such beauty in it. You touched me with this post. I'm going to look this book up. God works in mysterious ways. He is always working to mold us, to help us be more loving like Him. God bless you and Bob and Beau <3
The Lord doesn’t let his children continue when something is wrong in our lives. It takes time, but he finds a way to correct and send us on the right path.
You’re in my prayers, you and your sweetheart and your family.
Yes. Yes. this is such a precious and close to the heart sharing of your life. so much is said and so much that is not said. Thank you. this is so wonderful.
Wow, such a powerful post. Thank you for baring your heart, and soul and sharing this with us. I am glad you found the answer to why you felt as you did, and how God gave you the tools to help you see things in a very different way.
Bob looked to me as if he was praying, instead of sleeping.
May God continue to bless and guide you all through this 'journey'.
That list you drew up...yes it is very much like that where I work...
The last time I was there, a resident I was caring for, wanted his pillows put in a different way than I was going to , and he was SO thankful. Then I realized that they had been put in place by the day shift aide, who was in a hurry and just did it her way instead of asking the man how he wanted those pillows. Sheesh, such a small thing, I felt sorry for him...(and yes, he is like your list...he cannot walk, has trouble communicating, but for sure knows what he likes and dislikes. One has to take the time to pay attention to him...then he will be more comfy and a lot happier. )
You never stop amazing me with how you cope with your situation.
I find it quite amazing that you are able to express these inner personal feelings on your blog, Sandra, but I would imagine that it has been therapeutic to do so, and it may help others going through similar very difficult circumstances. I am glad that you are staying strong. All of your readers are no doubt inspired by your resilience, fortitude, compassion and strength of character. I know I am. David❤️
Wonderfully written and said. I'm glad you changed it really helps others when we are first calmer. Wonderful to read.
Sandra
what a well written post of love and kindness.
I was always taught to treat others as I would want to be treated
and you are correct 'our positive attitude' is momumental
Hugs to you and the Double B's
cecilia
Sandra, I'm so very glad you're on the right meds to help you cope and be more at peace. And the loving, Christ-like attitude you have adopted will see you through. I know sometimes you will still want to scream and throw things and pull out your hair, but that's only cause you're human. Lots of love to you and the "boys."
Oh my, I thought I had commented on this post.
I was bawling as I read the words.
You hit right to the center of my being.
Care-giving is hard but I don't want to be "hard". I pray that I will have a softened attitude and be a light when things grow dim.
Love you my friend.
(((hugs)))
Sue
You are an inspiration and I know you know what it's like. Thank you for these wise words....
Practicing the golden rule....it's hard Sandra, I know. I really think you have made progress to live the life you have now. I am glad you posted this to get understanding and support too. I love you sweet friend...I know the struggle is real....I am praying for you....I understand. I know what you are going through and I'm proud of you, Love, Diane
With that kind of insight I think you should run for President (ok not entirely serious but imagine how much better a country could be run if senior politicians did more for others than for themselves and their cronies). I don't have the same kind of faith as you but do belueve that we can't change the circumstances but we can change how we react or adapt to those things we can't control. And above all I agree, that I can't imagine how someone who'd been as physical and active as Bob adapts to confinement like that.
Thanks for sharing this, Sandra - your struggle as well as the "answer"! I think we all know the quote - but also that more often than not, it's "easier said than done" to practise it...💕
I started Lexapro almost 2 years ago - changed my life and allowed my worried brain to slow down just enough that I could breathe. I am glad it has helped you see what you need to see. Hugs.
Well written Sandra, you’re an inspiration, an amazing person.
However, those questions are still on my mind. Very often than not, I feel the same. I have the answer for me, but I don’t want to publicize it.
Stay strong. Sending hugs and love your way.
Sandra, to add to what so many others have commented, you have kindness in abundance and as you have shared, it was not an easy path to acceptance of things you cannot change, but have learned to accept and that, in turn, has made things more bearable for not only yourself but for Bob and Beau. You may have helped others who may be going through some similar trials in their own live by your honesty..
Dear Sandra :)
How coragous of you to write this from the heart and bare your innermost feelings,, but you knew that you could because we all admire and love youl so much. We know the struggle you have been going through and I'm so glad you have sought help from your doctor and are taking a medication that is helping you through these difficult times. You are a true inspiration to us all. Bless you Sandra, for your selfless caring and kindness. to Bob.
under very difficult circumstances,
Hi hi hi! Ojo here! We think the universe is helping you, especially since you have now invited it in. Humans have a much harder time letting the universe help us than we Dogs do. We are sending you many licks and wags, and much care.
You are right...retired life is hard enough when you Both can function but to have the husband down...I just can't imagine! Not full time...Larry needed help during his chemo phase but that's done.
Sending you big hugs and prayer for strength and peace!!
hugs
Donna
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