Friday, December 31, 2010

Last Phun Phriday of 2010

(So, it's not the grim reaper on this New Years Eve, but it is CLOSE)
 HELP, I'm playing and I can't Stop!



“Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror”



Byrd Baggett

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Clock is Ticking

The clock is ticking, the New Year approaches, 2011 is 2 days away, it's time for me to turn over a new leaf and consider a resolution to Stop The Corny Jokes in the new year.....

Use the above to do the She will, She will not, She will, She will not......

What did the digital clock say to his mother?        A: Look ma no hands!

Why can't you keep a clock in jail?    A: Because time is always running out.



A man showed some friends his apartment. One guest asked "What's that big brass basin for?" "That's the talking clock," answered the man. He gave it an ear shattering pound with a hammer. Suddenly, a voice on the other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off, it's 2 a.m., people sleep you know!"

Will She or Will she NOT! stop the corny jokes. What think ye?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Pretty is as pretty does

When I whined as a child/teen that I was not pretty, my mother always answered "pretty is as pretty does". This phrase works in reverse on the vine in our trees, "Pretty it is, but pretty it dosen't" is the perfect quote for Virginia Creeper.


this is the time of year, the vine we hate and would love to kill, turns a beautiful brilliant red, right at Christmas. This vine has been the  bane of our existence. It covers trees, buildings, fence, and I am thinking a person if you stand still for a while. Bob is constantly hacking at the roots of it to keep it from killing our trees and plants.



I went to Beginner Gardening to find the name of this hated vine and was totaly amazed to find people actually BUY this Plant and Plant it on purpose. To quote from Beginner Gardening (this is a site with a sense of humor, if you want a laugh, pop over and read his question and answers on the vine)



"Virgina Creeper never met a wall it didn’t like, a fence it couldn’t conquer or a plant it couldn’t smother." and "it's able to leap tall buildings in its first year and look out for the 2nd year." beginner gardening



we have seen this plant cover the whole top of a 50 year old oak tree in one summer. as i snapped away a few days before Christmas, my hubby moaned "all those red leaves will fall next week and be in the pool" and they will!

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill


except for learning how to grow in rows.

- Doug Larson



Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Java Jive

It's 8 AM on Christmas Eve morning, Hubby has gone to the park to fly his RC planes. I am alone with the dogs,

I put the TV on HD Yule Log w/Christmas Music and I grab a cup of coffee

 Note... there are two photos because the first one looks like my mothers hand, I moved the fingers for a better shot....
I Tote (southern for carry) my Christmas present to me, my new HP Laptop to the sofa and dive into blogland comments. After the comments I think, wonder what jokes I can find for next week to keep my readers laughing.

Jokes about WHAT? that is the question. Aha! I know.... and here you go.... start Groaning NOW




the subject is "coffee!!!!"

I just had some coffee that was good only for its sedimental value.

*
Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.
*

What do people buy coffee with? Starbucks.
*
*The author wasn't pleased to see a review of his book on cappuccino's. It said it was all froth and no substance.
*
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Farewell Finale

It is time to say Farewell, Sandra Claus has completed her assignment.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?


It's Christmas, Eve ! HO HO HO  (appropriate since Sandra Claus is a female)


 What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?Black mail !

*****
How many chimney does Sandra Claus go down ? Stacks !   Ho HO HO


 Knock Knock


Who's there ?

Oakham

Oakham who ?

Oakham all ye faithfull... !




and for my Grand Finale!!!! Sandra Claus fades into the past today.... see you 12/25/2011
 
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?


Santa Clues!



Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.

Now thats what you call pot luck!



What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ?

Freeze a jolly good fellow !



What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?

Santapplause !



Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar


Santa drives a rusty car


Press the starter


Press the choke


Off she goes in a cloud of smoke !

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Psalm 18:28

 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
Psalm 18:28

Please Po Over to Paws For Pouting for our Christmas Eve story about Baby Girl

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Day



And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for him in the inn. Luke 2: 7
*******

Friday, December 24, 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas

I would like thank all of you for your visits to this blog  and for your comments over this past year. I feel I have come to know you and I have for sure enjoyed  your wonderful blogs and my glimpses into your lives.


By The Way:   I told Santa you were good this year....and
He hasn't stopped laughing since! HO HO HO....







Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Ho Ho HO??

Ah! Christmas! The one day of the year we can all say our children are truly gifted!


Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!




 How do Mexican sheep say Merry Christmas? "Fleece Navidad."

How does Mickey Mouse get around during the winter? Mice skates.
 If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missile-Toe.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Sooo.. this is NOT Rudolph!

Why does Santa like to go down chimneys? Because it soots him!


Won't all that soot make him sick? No. He's had his flue shot.

But isn't he afraid he'll get stuck? Yes, he gets Santa Claus-trophobic.

But what if there's a fire in the fireplace? Santa then becomes Krisp Kringle!
********
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a cicada? Baa Humbug!
If you don't have time to listen to the whole video, drag it to 1.42 and here that Sax...

Monday, December 20, 2010

More Treasures


Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.

If Santa rode a motorcycle, what kind would it be? A Holly Davidson.


Christmas is the time of year when mother has to separate the men from the toys.

Above is a 99 cent Santa I bought for my sons first Christmas in 1965

Someone has stated that the three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season are: "Peace on Earth", "Goodwill to Men" and "Batteries not included."  HO HO HO

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Saturday, December 18, 2010

More HO HO HO

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when  Emily, a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'




'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.
'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'
Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'
HO HO HO from Sandra Claus
If you have never visited Red Willow Photography do so now by clicking on the link, this post of her ornaments is special. she is a very talented photographer.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Santa At The North Pool

Where does Santa go swimming? The North Pool.


What is Santa's primary language? North Polish.


Here he comes, Sandra Claus' husband, Santa Bob. Monday through Friday at 5:30 AM, Sandra Claus and Santa Bob hit the local YMCA for exercise. Santa is building strength to drive his sleigh



Don't worry, Santa Bob is safe, he is guarded by a snowman lifeguard. today was 37 degrees, but the pool is heated. The photographer was freezing. What do you think will happen if the snowman dives in to save him?

ONLY IN FLORIDA do we have Snowmen for lifeguards and sleighs waiting outside in GRASS

Santa's sleigh jingles too much. He won't win the No Bell Prize!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Senior Santas

  1. Does Santa have any money? No. That is why they call him Saint Nickeless.
  2. How do Santa and Mrs. Claus get around? On an icicle built for two


 A senior Santa was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's urgent voice warning him. "Herman, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on I-77. Please be careful! "Heck" says Senior Santa, "its not just ONE car, it's hundreds of them."




My sweet little Santa is only 2 inches tall, he is supposed to climb a candle, but he can drive sleighs and climb Christmas trees.
******
What is a webmaster's favourite hymn? Oh, dot com all ye faithful   HO HO HO

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Silly Sandra Santa Stuff

Sandra Claus Presents.........two of my favorite Santas.

where does Santa put his suit after Christmas? in the Claus=et



 what do you call Santas helpers? subordinate clauses



 Q: What do elves learn in school?    A: The Elf-abet!



Sled on in tomorrow for More of Silly Santa Stuff from Sandra Claus...............